The real story behind the “Extortion” of Zib Scaggs

Sorry, this isn’t a fashion post. It’s about something a lot more important than that but related greatly to the fashion world.

I want more than anything in the world right now, for all those of you who are reading this to please just give me a chance to hear my side of the story at last, where it concerns all this mess and drama with Zib Scaggs and what she shared on her flickr and her blog (link here ) ) about me. Please instead of thinking TL:DR, take some time to read through this carefully and take in every last word, and pass on the information if you care about my wellbeing and the truth.

This is what it really is all about.

I have history with Zib. I first knew Zib as an acquaintance through some gallery events run by my partner, and also she attended DJ sets of mine. When I asked about blogging for her, she was happy to accept me. I was her very first male blogger and I loved being it, I had done many posts for her way back before she was even that well known, in 2012.

After almost a year of blogging for her, she had just released a male line and secured some famous male bloggers and then she dismissed me from the group. That was pretty cold but I responded in a polite way asking her to give me a 2nd chance. Here is the exact transcript, word for word, of what she said when she let me go and what my response by notecard was:

Hello Dox

I am writing to let you know I am releasing you from the Zibska blogger group. During my periodic check of those who blog my designs I found your efforts to be under par.

Best of luck in your modeling and blogging endeavors.

~ Zib

My response:
Zib…I am saddened to hear this from you, especially as I am *just* about to do a blog post of your new releases from MWFW and I used your designs in MWFW shows as well. I am sorry I was not able to blog your MWFW releases during the actual MWFW, but it was due to being too busy with 16 shows to do and managing all the Djs and hosts, try to understand. The only ones I posted during that time were photos I had taken before MWFW started, and that Byrne had worked on for me in PS, because I didn’t have time for doing the post-processing which with me, takes a long time since I have diagnosed OCD.

I was waiting a long time on getting pictures for my blog post on the new MWFW necklace done by my friend Dammi, and that’s why it’s taken so long to get that one posted. Please invite me back to the Zibska blogger group. I will make blogging your designs a priority from now on, as much as I can.
The thing is it’s not always so to post your stuff on a regular basis, because your makeups and accessories only suit certain looks and I have to blog
for other designers too who are my sponsors.

Did you see the last posts I did for you? They weren’t that long ago. This is the last one I did, and it was just before MWFW started. http://fashion-frankenstein.blogspot.ca/2013/04/oh-behave_11.html

I am a big fan of your designs, please don’t stop sending me stuff. I wear them all the time when I’m out at fashion parties, or doing shows, even if I’m not always blogging them. I promote your designs in different ways.

Sincerely,
Dox.

Unfortunately, I seem to have lost the chat logs that followed. She never answered my notecard so I had IM’d her asking her to please contact me and explain why exactly my blog was under par and what was wrong with it. I wanted to know so I could learn to improve myself. She continually did not answer me after a few different politely written (although maybe a little desperate sounding I’ll admit) offine IMs to her, and so I asked my partner if she could ask her to reach me.

Zib responded to my partner by complaining about how I was not consistent enough with my blogging and that she had tons of bloggers now that were better at that, and what was the real bad part here, was that she went into *great length* about how my photography was poor and my styling was too. She picked me to pieces, severe criticism and insulting language too, she was quite aggressive about it and rude, and how I wish my partner had those IMs still but sadly she never logged them.

So at that point, I did get mad at her but never actually insulted her maybe just told her she was being a diva about this, and defended myself by saying I blogged makeup and accessories of hers that were for women and didn’t even fit me so that should’ve counted for something.

But it ended there, I stopped trying to contact her after that last message and I moved on and even continued to buy her products and blog them, for free, for years to come. Completely free advertising for her even though she had treated me pretty crappy and was ungrateful for what I’d done for her, and never favorited my photos.

So, flash forward to 2014. We had been talking, after I had requested review copies for Menswear Fashion Week and she gave me them and I was thankful, since due to having quit Siren Productions who runs it and having started a boycott against their unprofessional and bullying treatment of models and entertainment who work for them (boycottsiren.wordpress.com), I had been banned from the sim and could not access these products. At this time Zib was telling me my photos have improved a lot and I noticed she had favorited a few of them for a while now, and so I asked her if I could blog for her again would she give me a 2nd chance. She said wait until the applications are open again and she told me I should apply.

I did apply for the next blogger call but was rejected anyway. The thing to note and remember here, is that is *NOT* why I got so mad at her. It was after I then asked her if she could send me review copies of her PENUMBRA items because I was blogging for PENUMBRA FW at the time. She answered in all caps NO. Just like that ,and that came off extremely rude to me. I was after all, a blogger for that event.

At that point, let me please explain, I was under a huge amount of stress, I was unstable, emotionally, I had been abused by my family, I had poor mental and physical health, and I snapped. It all came back to me about how she treated me before, when she first dumped me and the mean things she’d said to me about my photos,style and everything.

After she said that No in a rude cold way it triggered all those memories and feelings I had still pent up inside me that I had tried to push down, but they all came flooding back and I got really mad it was a total heat of the moment thing and I meant nothing serious by it, but this is what I said:

[05:27] Paradox Messmer: (Saved Sun Sep 21 04:08:46 2014)I think I’ll tell everyone just what a mean person who’s totally full of themselves you are
[05:27] Paradox Messmer: (Saved Sun Sep 21 04:09:24 2014)You used to be decent, going to the Rubb and hanging out inthe alternative scenes, now you’re just a diva with the biggest ego and worst attitude toward their customers I’ve ever seen
[05:27] Paradox Messmer: (Saved Sun Sep 21 04:09:57 2014)Don’t expect me to give you free advertising anymore
[2014/09/20 19:08] Dox (paradox.messmer): I think I’ll tell everyone just what a mean person who’s totally full of themselves you are

That’s all that I said to her, and yes it was not right for me to do but I was not in a good head space and remember, I was thinking of the history between us, the way I had been dumped originally and the mean things she’d said about my blogging.

So, instead of her ignoring it, or trying to talk to me about it which would have been the mature, drama-free way to handle it, she shared that on her flickr page and her blog! She made a big post about it, claiming I was extorting her! Which is totally incorrect. And she proceeded on her flickr page to slander me in front of thousands of flickr followers who then gave her 60 plus favorites on the post and many many people ganged up on me in the comments.

Please understand, I may not have evidence of it now, but at least 30 different people shamed, insulted me, embarrassed me, they attacked me, and I lost control of my temper and defended myself and even insulted some of them back, which I regret having done but you have to try to understand what I was going through, please if you have any empathy in your heart. How would you have felt under such a barrage on a public forum?

Try to understand, I implore you. They were bullying me, and I suffer from PTSD from years of abuse and extreme bullying in school and at home so this just set me off like a bomb. The ganging up, I couldn’t handle it.

And for the record, I was never extorting her, that wasn’t my intention. it was a misinterpretation from her. I didn’t mean anything more than I will tell a few friends, on my friendslist, about my bad experiences with her going back to the original treatment when I was her blogger. I wasn’t going to make any website or boycott her or turn people against her. I would’ve said something to a friend or two at most in PRIVATE IMs.

But she freaked out. She showed she is a very insecure person and immature at that, and she made a huge scene out of it, it spiraled out of control into a shitstorm and it’s both our faults that it did.

However, I apologised on my flickr for all to see and yet this has seemed to not have made any difference. I have since been fired from an agency I worked hard for and had done many shows for, one where the people who I worked for had praised me for my modeling,style and also Djing for their shows. What’s worse, I also lost an honor someone was going to give me for my contributions in the fashion industry and my styling talents, something I really needed after going through all this.

I want to note, that I just had a big 2 day fundraiser to benefit Mental Health America, a charity that helps people in the community who struggle with mental and emotional illness and suicidal thoughts, just like me, and I did it out of pure heart, compassion and a desire to do something to make a difference for people who have been where I have been most of my life, in the dark places mental illness brings you down in. So far $100,000L has been raised, equal to over 400USD.

This is not the first time I raised money for an important charity., either.
A few years back, when Africa’s famine was at an all time crisis, I organized a 2 day event with multiple DJs and raised 800USD to be split between Red Cross and UNICEF.

I also raised $300USD for Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Committee during a Gay Pride all day event I organized once again, on my own.

I want to say Zib had taken down her original flickr post only after my partner and friends begged her out of concern for my at high risk mental health. She only removed it after days of it being up for all to see. She demanded that I put my apology up and meet the same amount of views her post had (an impossible feat for my flickr), but I just learned she’s left it on her blog all this time and it’s still there now, ruining my image for all who see it. Getting me denied opportunities and honors for my contributions and hard work for the SL fashion industry.

So this has been my story. This is my voice finally spoken. Will it be heard or even recognized? I don’t know. But I am praying to God that Zib will have the heart and sense to let this go and move on, remove her blog post, and that the backlash I’m getting will die down and I will still have a chance to be in magazines, and part of agencies and receive invitations to things that honor my work. I’m so desperate, so deeply depressed, so full of hopelessness and despair. I’ve lost so much I cared about, all because a designer who had a tantrum and a spiteful vendetta against me.

With deepest remorse for my behavior and despair,
Paradox Messmer.


[...the simple things mean the most]


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Ears: CheerNo - Human_EarsPLUGopen B280714
Feet: Slink AvEnhance - Male Feet Flat
Hair: Soonsiki - Kaleidoscope in Brown
Hand: Slink AvEnhance - Relaxed

Jacket: xin - qiu parka autumn @ The Seasons Story
Pants: !APHORISM! - Slim Jeans Brown (gift)
Shoes: ILLI - SLink Invictus Khaki

Bike:  XIAJ /ZZANG  - Delivery Bike  navy
Decor: PILOT - Crate Pumpkin Display
Leaves: Serenity Style - Autumn Leafs Ground Cover (gift)
Pumpkins: Serenity Style - Natural Pumpkins

Pose: Del May - Power shower male (head modified with Animare)

Location: Frisland
Now playing: September by Chet Baker



SAMURAI



Hair: MINA hair - Jasmin
Skin: SAMURAI - Horror skin (GIFT)
BODY TATTOO: HIATUS - Rockabilly Nation (VOI)
Horns: ::TI:: Horns Grounge - grey
Bullet and tattoo: :::TI::: Bullet Head
Piercing: PEKKA
Nose Chain: .random.Matter. - Orianthi Nose Chain - Copper V2  (MRF)
Beard Prim: Drogo Beard
Eyes: DA phantom eyes




When the moment comes

Pose: Inertia - When I'm Gone (new)
Ison Man - cowl neck sweater - (ombre) (@TDM) (new)
...Scars... - Knit gloves Simple M [Blk] (@TDM(new)
[Con.]  - Oherlihy's Bench  (L'Amitié Fall Market (new)
Alirium - Pumpkins(The Chapter Four (new)


Pathfinder

The final hair I have from Tableau Vivant that is available at the Mystic Realms Faire is the gorgeous Pathfinder*.

Mystic Realms Faire Slurl

path_008
Pathfinder
Pathfinder
Pathfinder

Skin: Hermony Kyu Tone 3
Facial Hair: Nivaro Prophet
Outfit: Fatewear Nehtar Nel Ocean (available at the Mystic Realms Faire)

Prop & Poses: Elephante Poses Petals

*Promotional copies

The post Pathfinder appeared first on Carthalis Rossini.

164 : 1021



HAIR : little bones. : Heartthrob - Ombre&Roots @Body Modification Expo
HORNS : G.ID : Kerosene Deer Horns-Black @The Bloody Horro Fair <<NEW>>
PIERCINGS&LIPSLICK : - .HoD. - :
The Dead Piercings & Makeup Collection - The Dead v2 - Razor @Tengoku No Rakuen Furimaketto (50% OFF)
FACE TATTOO : AYAKASHI YOKOCHO : Oni Tatoo-Kunoi 2 <<NEW>>
CHEST TATTOO : Inkside Tattoos : Hexadron Tattoo <<NEW>>
BROWS : .random.Matter. : Bubsy Rhinestone Brows
EYES : {S0NG} : Doll~ Red Eye (GG)
FOX : Aii : Familiar Spirit Kuro + (Gacha)
HALO : Aii : + Bahamut's Grace + Gold
NECKLACE : .random.Matter. : - Fell - Necklace - Black/Copper RARE (Gacha)
GLOVES : Nana : Chelsea Gloves Black @Suicide Dollz <<NEW>>
NAILS : CerberusXing : Ring Claws (Black, (Black Blood)) *Gacha @The Gacha Mania
DRAGON PIPE : CerberusXing : Opium Dragon Pipe AO (Black & Smoke)
VEST : Wonton : Lynx Fur Vest / Black @KUSTOM9
HAPPI : Iruco : K-I happi (bk)
HAKAMA : Aii : + Black Japants Medium + RARE (Gacha)
STOCKINGS : Nylon Outfitters : Ripped Up Stockings - Opaque @COLLABOR88
GETA : CerberusXing : Sasu Geta (Red)
FOOT TATTOO : Clemmm : Bloody Feet (Hunt prize) @Tengoku no Rakuen Halloween Hunt
FOOT NAIL : Nana : Incu Succu Black Claws
CUFF : BlackPearls : The Fallen Cuff lll RARE







@371

@371

Hair: *Dura-Boys&Girls*53 (Dark Brow)
Jacket:[ ExcellencE ] Jacket_Parka_Black
Shoes: 2REAL -E-WINGS LMT BLACK VERSION (TMD)
pants: [ ExcellencE ] Shorts_FBI_White
Necklace: – .HoD. – Nothing’s Necklace
Tattoo: ..:Freaks & Geeks:..Wise Owl HD tattoo
Ears: Human_EarsPLUGopen_ CHEERNO B280714
Piercing: [DossiEr] Piercing . Septum
Skin: HERMONY / SKIN / KYU / ST0
poses: [Expressive Poses]


POST# 695 fi*Friday New Release Mesh Jacket From {Fe Style} ~ New Release Skin From Aeros ~ New Release Tattoo From Speakeasy :: ~ New Release Hair from UNORTHODOX


Skin/eye's/ By  >> Aeros Skin Javier <<  ~*New Release*~ 
Skin -  >> Aeros Skin Javier << Praline :: smooth [LE]
Shape - >> Aeros Shape Javier << Model :: LE
Beard - >> Aeros Facial Hair << Beard :: scruffy soft
Eye's - >> Aeros Eyes Spinel << Grey :: three
Slink Hands & Feet Applier

L Hand By Slink - AvEnhance Hands Male - Gesture   ~*Mesh*~

R Hand By Slink - AvEnhance Hands Male - On-Hip   ~*Mesh*~

Erarings By Vexiin - Diamond Studs [Black] ~*Mesh*~

Bracelet By Vexiin - Cuban Link Bracelet ~*Mesh*~

Goatee By UNORTHODOX - Siete High Low Goatee

Hair By Unorthodox - Truth -Noir ~*New Release*~

Tattoo By Speakeasy :: - Open Eyes Tattoo ~*New Release*~ 

Jacket  By {Fe Style} - Mervish Jacket - Plaid LG8726 [ find it at fi*Friday }
~*New Release*~ ~*Mesh*~
6 Different Color Style's pop over in Try the Demo

Jeans By kal rau - Casual Jeans M5_Blue (fitmesh)

Shoes By [Deadwool] - Klaus shoes - Grey

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Car By AUTOMANIA™ Motorsports - Renaissance Type_R mesh/multitexture = or on  marketplace ~*MESH*~

The vehicle has these options:
- Working headlights, indicators, brake lights, interior, reverse and running lights
- Touch-activated doors, hood, trunk. The chime sound comes on when doors are open and engine is stopped
- Custom textures that can be switched via pop-up menu (menu - options - graphics - PaintSys)
- Driver HUD (beta) - in vehicle contents
- 2 camera modes (follow and sport)
- Cruise control
- Working rotating, vibrating and turning wheels
- Alarm System
- Optional automatic or manual gear shifting
- Burnout
- Exhaust particles while the engine is running
- 7 editable gears
- Horn
- Lock/Unlock
- Menu driven Avatar positioning
- Mouselook steering (beta)
- Park animations that can be cycled through with Key Controls
- Vibrating components (exhaust, engine)
- etc 
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Son Of Odin

son of origin 2

On Romeo

Hair / Unorthodox

Beard / Unorthodox

Facepaint / BUC

Outfit / PFC

Ears / CheerNo

Hands / CheerNo


Quick Snap

Quick Snap_001

On Romeo

Snapback / XODOHTRONU 

Eyes / Blow-Up @BodyModExpo 

Sweater / GAS *NEWW*

Pants / SpiritStore @TMD

Tattoo / SpeakEasy @BodyModExpo